Unreasonable Reasons Why I’m Single

I came across this article on ThoughtCatalog.com about things to say when people ask why someone’s single and I realized that if there’s one thing people ask me a lot is that it’s why I’m single or why I’m not meeting anyone ‘new’. My love life has been one big question mark ever since I realized that boys exist, well except for the one time I actually had a boyfriend (believe it, or not). And now that I’m 23 and single (no flings, no MUs, no flirtationship, no textmates …NOTHING), which is what I consider the gray area between I have to be in a relationship already and at the same time ‘explore’ the world while I’m young, I thought of my own reasons (slash excuses) as to why I’m still single.

1. Mr. Right is still taking his time in finding me. Among the rest of the reasons (slash excuses) below, this would be my strongest argument. Instead of saying, “I haven’t found him yet”, why not put the blame on him? I’ve had my fair share of princes, who turned out to be complete frogs and I’m just not into the whole ‘collect and collect and later select’ thing. I don’t fall for a person easily but when I do, I fall hard–which explains why I can count the guys I truly consider that I fell for, with just one hand. I’m not interested in dating or fooling around, or worse, meeting guys in bars (not that I actually go to bars and parties). I’m also not saying that I want to get married right away, because I don’t, but it’s just that I’m not the kind of girl that can easily jump from one guy to another or have intense feelings for one guy and then for another. So instead of trying to find ‘Mr. Right’ and kiss a lot of frogs along the way, I’d rather sit back, enjoy my single life, and let him find me. Then, we’ll see.

2. I’m still enjoying my single life. …which is for your information, very true. Call it maturity (or at least, that’s what I want to call it) or growing up, but I actually love being with myself. I’m not emo but I don’t exactly have the cheerleader personality, which is very ironic since I was a cheerleader. I’ve been an introvert during my younger years and although I may have been more of an extrovert during college, I’m sure I’m back to being an introvert, which means I’m perfectly comfortable keeping things to myself. Believe it or not, I enjoy quiet times, “mastur-dating”, and spoiling myself. The dorkiest part is when I actually look forward to going to malls, watching movies, hanging out in coffee shops, eating in restaurants, driving, etc…ALL BY MYSELF (I don’t even make an effort into asking my friends out sometimes). And to be perfectly honest, I’m perfectly happy with the way things are right now in my life. Boyfriend shmoyfriend. Seriously.

3. I just can’t get out of the ‘friend zone’. I mean, just how big is this ‘friend zone’, really? I admit I’m not exactly feminine, girly, or lady-like. I also admit that I feel I have more testosterone than estrogen. And I guess this puts me in the ‘friends zone’ with most guys I know. The downside? I sometimes fall for my guy ‘friends’, but it’s just too bad that I’m just a friend. I’m not being bitter, really. On the contrary, it’s actually quite fascinating for me that I still can’t shake off my boyish personality and not be the damsel-in-distress type after all these years and after all my efforts (…okay I’m kidding, I’m not exerting any effort but still). This has been one of the most unanswered questions for me and my close friend, who is also experiencing the same thing. But oh well, it’s not like I’d want to be a girly girl or a damsel-in-distress type just to attract boys anyway, thank you very much.

4. I’m not really meeting anyone new actually. I work at home. That in itself says a lot as to how my normal days go. I wake up, take a bath, put on some house clothes, eat, work on my laptop, relax, sleep. I do go out to meet my friends once in a while or I’d go somewhere just to hang out by myself, but I don’t really go to bars, parties, gatherings, etc, and meet new people. The ones I meet when I go out are the same people I know since I was in college or the ones I’ve met through my past jobs. And I’m making it perfectly clear that I’m not really into creating a love connection with my current guy friends as well. Call me cheesy but I do believe in chance meetings and the like, that’s why I’m not really pressured to go out and force myself to mix and mingle just to meet drunk guys and…well, you get the picture. It’s just too bad that some of my friends actually recommend that I go to bars just to meet guys. *vomits*

5. I’m not exactly sure if I’m really relationship-ready. You may think I’m joking, but I seriously kid you not. There are still A LOT of things that I want to do in my life and there’s just not enough space for a boyfriend or special someone. It’s just that when I consider some guy a ‘special someone’, I really treat him as such. I give him my time, effort, etc., that I tend to lose sight of some priorities in my life that I should be really focusing on, and I won’t let that happen at this stage of my life. I know there are guys that can be very supportive and I may have improved in time management, who knows. I’m just in a delicate and critical stage in my life, especially when it comes to my family and building something for myself, that I can’t really invest that much on a ‘special someone’ right now. I admit, I do sometimes feel a need for some kind of special comfort and care and of course, the ~sweet~ text messages and phone calls, but it’s not really a huge necessity for me right now. What’s important for me right now is the sense of fulfillment, which I can only get by giving my full attention to my priorities–family and myself. The lean-on-me-when-you’re-down dilemma can be easily averted because I easily get over things anyway and I have the best-est friends ever.

Well, there you have it. I can come up with more reasons but I’m afraid I won’t make much sense anymore (not that I made much sense with these 5 reasons anyway). I’m proud to say I’m almost over the ‘singledom’ woes and I’ve never been more peaceful and content in my life than I am now. If he’ll come, he’ll come. Who knows? Maybe even after all my stereotypical judgment on guys in bars, once I actually decide to go to a party, I might meet him there. But I really hope not.



  1. I think you are on track. I am single (again) at 43 with four kids. I work at home and most of my activities focus around reading or my children or existing friends. I think you should keep going and you are right – the right guy will show up. I have never met anyone worth having while I was out prowling for a date – ever. Every lasting relationship I have had has came from “out of the blue.” Or so it seemed at the time, but truly, I was happy, engaged in what I was doing and I think that will attract a man who doesn’t need a damsel-in-distress type. In the meantime, enjoy yourself. I think of all the positives: I can make what I want for every meal, I can sleep on my side of the bed, I can read in bed for hours with no one asking me to turn off the light.

    1. Hi there, I appreciate your comment 🙂 I’m very happy to know I’m not just being cynical or anything. And yes, I intend to continue with my life just as it is. I also agree with you in thinking about only the good things about being single and I honestly don’t see why most people dread being alone. Thanks again for your comment and advice 🙂 I’m looking forward to making the most out of my youth and single life. Cheers!

  2. you have my number. we can go trinoms for no reason ya kno (just as long as it’s after work and mwf) haha!

    1. BTW.. how to change my picture here???

      1. Settings ata! Hahahaha

    2. Hahaha I actually enjoy dates with myself. I’m more afraid na masyado nakong sanay and okay with being alone (but I’m not lonely naman :D). Thanks for the offer!

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